School and Motherhood

If what President Magufuli is saying comes to pass, lives will be ruined. A vicious cycle will be started and there will be no end to it. This kids who are being forced to drop out of school will have ruined lives, the chances of their daughters repeating the same will be very high. Let teenage mums be given a chance to learn and succeed.
By gatundugirl.wordpress.com

Gatundu Girl

A few days ago, Tanzanian President John Pombe Magufuli made a statement that raised controversy. He said that if girls or Primary and Secondary school level get pregnant, that should be the end of school for them. They should go to vocational training institutes and learn trades such as sewing instead of going back to school after delivery. According to President J P Magufuli, their presence in schools will encourage other girls to engage in sex.

There are so many sides to the coin of a pregnant school girl. Let’s start with the basic, it takes two to tango. That’s right, a baby is not made by one person. Am going to assume that since human reproduction is a compulsory topic, you all know the basics so I won’t delve into details. So, why should the consequences of an act that is perfomed by two be on the shoulders of…

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IS MARRIAGE ABOUT TOLERANCE?

This issue caught my eye as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed. Some lady had asked for advice from married women in a certain Kenyan fb group, since her marriage was falling apart at six months only. What left me puzzled was the advice, as most said to tolerate because marriage was about that. lets sample some of the replies

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I have never been married, but if the advice you will give me is tolerance, watching movies and reading books which are biased (favor men) when it comes to advice and being submissive, then don’t. What everyone should understand is that time changes, and so do norms, culture, traditions etc. Change is inevitable.

I believe a marriage should be about partnership, conflict resolution, monogamy, love, laughter, communication,  and happiness.

Sure, there will be misunderstandings here and there, but it shouldn’t be all about that. The term tolerance insinuates that its just downs on downs, no ups.And honestly the gender which carries this huge role of tolerance is women.

The analogue system of marriage is not working anymore. So we better create a new reality of the institution before it becomes extinct all together.

So, back to the facebook post. Not all the comments irked me as some ladies gave  some pretty good advice. Read them below

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So what do you think? Should we stick to the traditional methods or adopt new ones when it comes to this institution? let me know in the comments section

 

15 of the best life quotes and secrets

There’s no life manual that we can follow when we are alive. But there are life tips and secrets which help us overcome everyday hurdles. I have put together my favorite quotes from different sources to inspire anyone in need of it. Lets face it, we all need a little motivation now and then.You can also read some of the best truths and inspiration i have come across

  1. Only pack what you can carry yourself.
  2. Remember you will always regret what you didn’t do rather than what you did.
  3. If the grass is greener on the other side, there’s probably more manure there.
  4. Wait 24 hours before getting mad and reacting about anything. If it doesn’t bother you in 24 hours’ time, it probably isn’t important enough to get mad over.
  5. Happiness is a choice and everything else is a matter of perspective.
  6. Figure out what you love to do, and then figure out how to get someone to pay you to do it.
  7. Live in the moment. Even 10 minutes ago is the past.
  8. This too, shall pass.
  9. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life: define yourself.
  10. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
  11. Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized anyway.
  12. It’s supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.
  13. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not act, but a habit.
  14. It doesn’t hurt to love. It hurts to love the wrong person.
  15. Everything you can imagine is real. –Pablo Picasso                  Related  some of the best truths and inspiration i have come across

     awesome quotes on life

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    STRENGTH

YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY: YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST!

Just Mwende

Who is a narcissist?

A person with a mental disorder  in which he/she  has an inflated sense of  their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

In a much simpler way, the narcissists are obsessed with themselves,think they are better and more important than anyone else and want to be treated special. Both women and men can have this personality disorder ,  but it is more common in men.

Narcissistic relationships are more common than many people are aware. There are phases,patterns and signs to these emotionally abusive(and sometimes physically abusive) relationships.images

so how do they start?

  • The narcissist is a very manipulative person, it doesn’t matter how smart and confident you are, we all can fall for him. He is very skilled to reveal any…

View original post 455 more words

YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY: YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST!

Who is a narcissist?

A person with a mental disorder  in which he/she  has an inflated sense of  their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

In a much simpler way, the narcissists are obsessed with themselves,think they are better and more important than anyone else and want to be treated special. Both women and men can have this personality disorder ,  but it is more common in men.

Narcissistic relationships are more common than many people are aware. There are phases,patterns and signs to these emotionally abusive(and sometimes physically abusive) relationships.images

so how do they start?

  • The narcissist is a very manipulative person, it doesn’t matter how smart and confident you are, we all can fall for him. He is very skilled to reveal any red flags when you meet him. He will make you believe you are his soul mate by giving you attention and charm you with compliments any chance he gets. This person will study you well and use your weak points  to his advantage. Spending exorbitant amounts of time with you and giving enchanting promises will make you feel alive ,adored,loved, and

    then..

  • The amount of time he spends with you will reduce. It will start with a few days without communication, then the next time it will be weeks. After disappearing for a good amount of time, he will return like nothing ever happened. If you ask about the act, he will behave as if you are crazy and over thinking things. You will try to get back to the kind of connection you two had when you met, but the harder you try more distance he becomes.The partner who once made you feel like royalty is now making you feel insecure and needy. He is now a stranger. He is taking your power to feed his elated ego

     so

  • Because of  how intense and quickly the relationship started and how within a nick of time the tables turn,you will feel very confused,angry and betrayed. You will constantly be asking yourself where you went wrong. It’s a very emotional phase because he is no longer the person you knew: very loving,attentive and consistent. This person projects all the relationship issues to you, making you believe that all that happened is your fault. You will be punished with  silence when you simply attempt to resolve the problems. Being ignored will feel so horrible that you will start apologizing for things you never did. This is one of the many games these people have mastered so as to manipulate you. He preys on this kind of attention, and is incapable of recognizing any personal fault. He will never show remorse or awareness for the imposed hurt.

    later

  • You will assume the downfall was your fault. You will obsess with fixing whats broken in order to feel better. The more your efforts are ignored the more you will become persistent. It’s a back and forth and never-ending cycle of apologizing  and nothing changing with the relationship that you start feeling crazy. Its energy depleting and soul consuming because you will give all you can, but for nothing

    Finally

  • The relationship has run its course. You can no longer fill the emptiness he feels so now he ends the relationship abruptly. It’s what they do,they use and discard with no show for remorse. He has now completed the full cycle of narcissism and has probably started another one with someone else.

 

disclaimer:use of he is for consistency purposes

 

 

 

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IS THE BIBLE SEXIST?

Before you attack me, let me state that I am a believer who occasionally [sorry mum] attends a Pentecostal church. I am also an activist, if you like a feminist who believes in the equality of both genders. Considering these two scenarios, I find myself sometimes silently disagreeing with the preacher on matters marriage/relationships and even at times general life matters. The way the church is set up you can’t however voice your different opinion on matters Bible lest you find yourself being called the agent of the devil. I have to ask these hard questions anyway

To start with, sexism is devaluation, stereotyping prejudice, discrimination, especially against women, on the basis of sex. So, is the bible sexist? Let’s look at some of these verses.  1 Corinthians 14:

” As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the Churches. They are not allowed to speak, but be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.”

This is a straightforward passage. Why is it disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church? Does submission mean silence of women in church as well? [I am not for submission]. Consider this other verse as well ; 1 Timothy 2:

” Also that women should adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire but by good deeds, as befits women who profess religion. Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men;she is to keep silent.”

These are just two examples, other verses which I have come across are Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 peter 3:7 , 1 John 2:13. There are more examples throughout the old and new testament.

Another thing  I will point out is that all of  Jesus` disciples are men, same as the elders mentioned in the bible. This very issue (sexism)has affected the society as a whole since we have very few female leaders as we are portrayed by the bible as followers and listeners of men.  As a reasoning Christian, I cannot reject these parts of the bible which are seemingly sexist, and acknowledge the others to be the word of God.  What are your thoughts?

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Gatundu Girl

Straight out of the village, writer, book nerd, Gladiator in pjs, expert babysitter, screen addict

Island Girl On A Mission

Spreading Love and Light One Blog Post at A Time!

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