So we are walking on some busy pavement when some guy who is seemingly drunk starts harassing us subtly because we didn’t return his advances. The man even changes the direction he was walking towards and starts talking stridently and hurling insults towards us. Other passersby notice but they keep walking like it’s nothing.  The drunk finally tires and walks away. We were just walking minding our business, why wouldn’t he do the same?

Street harassment

Second instance: I and my cousins have just bought a mattress and we are at the stage waiting for a Matatu to board, when a guy starts saying that we should invite him to come warm the mattress because a lady is purportedly not supposed to sleep on a new mattress alone. At this point I am clearly really irritated and tell him off. His ego is wounded and he starts threatening that I don’t know what he is capable of when angry. All this time his peers at the stage listen and say nothing.

These two true instances are just a drop in the ocean when it comes to what we as ladies go through every day. When a woman complains of being cat called or harassed the first thing people  ask about is what she was wearing. Why should a lady’s choice on dressing be blamed for a man’s inappropriate behavior?

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Statistics show that 65% of all women have experienced street harassment. This is according to a survey done in the U.S.A, which I suspect the number could even be higher in Africa.

How many times have we seen women being stripped of their clothing in the name of dressing immodestly? How backwards is that? This disrespectful act shows that some men still view women as public property to be handled how one wishes. It’s 2017! How can one still be holding on to that kind of mentality. You have a mother, sister, aunts etc. If you can’t stand them being cat called or harassed why do it to someone’s daughter/sister/mother/wife?

An encounter with a street harasser anywhere is creepy, upsetting, scary and very annoying. It’s not a debatable topic: Women don’t appreciate unsolicited advances or what’s baptized by some as “compliments”.

I blame this kind of behavior on our culture that promotes a macho behavior. This is basically a display of dominance. It’s also a form of sexism in our society, where men basically feel like they can say anything to the women at any time, and that women should just take it.

Street harassment is not trivial or something that women are asking for. Everyone has a right to feel comfortable and safe in public spaces.

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This issue caught my eye as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed. Some lady had asked for advice from married women in a certain Kenyan fb group, since her marriage was falling apart at six months only. What left me puzzled was the advice, as most said to tolerate because marriage was about that. lets sample some of the replies


I have never been married, but if the advice you will give me is tolerance, watching movies and reading books which are biased (favor men) when it comes to advice and being submissive, then don’t. What everyone should understand is that time changes, and so do norms, culture, traditions etc. Change is inevitable.

I believe a marriage should be about partnership, conflict resolution, monogamy, love, laughter, communication,  and happiness.

Sure, there will be misunderstandings here and there, but it shouldn’t be all about that. The term tolerance insinuates that its just downs on downs, no ups.And honestly the gender which carries this huge role of tolerance is women.

The analogue system of marriage is not working anymore. So we better create a new reality of the institution before it becomes extinct all together.

So, back to the facebook post. Not all the comments irked me as some ladies gave  some pretty good advice. Read them below


So what do you think? Should we stick to the traditional methods or adopt new ones when it comes to this institution? let me know in the comments section



Before you attack me, let me state that I am a believer who occasionally [sorry mum] attends a Pentecostal church. I am also an activist, if you like a feminist who believes in the equality of both genders. Considering these two scenarios, I find myself sometimes silently disagreeing with the preacher on matters marriage/relationships and even at times general life matters. The way the church is set up you can’t however voice your different opinion on matters Bible lest you find yourself being called the agent of the devil. I have to ask these hard questions anyway

To start with, sexism is devaluation, stereotyping prejudice, discrimination, especially against women, on the basis of sex. So, is the bible sexist? Let’s look at some of these verses.  1 Corinthians 14:

” As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the Churches. They are not allowed to speak, but be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.”

This is a straightforward passage. Why is it disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church? Does submission mean silence of women in church as well? [I am not for submission]. Consider this other verse as well ; 1 Timothy 2:

” Also that women should adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire but by good deeds, as befits women who profess religion. Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men;she is to keep silent.”

These are just two examples, other verses which I have come across are Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 peter 3:7 , 1 John 2:13. There are more examples throughout the old and new testament.

Another thing  I will point out is that all of  Jesus` disciples are men, same as the elders mentioned in the bible. This very issue (sexism)has affected the society as a whole since we have very few female leaders as we are portrayed by the bible as followers and listeners of men.  As a reasoning Christian, I cannot reject these parts of the bible which are seemingly sexist, and acknowledge the others to be the word of God.  What are your thoughts?

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Gatundu Girl

Straight out of the village, writer, book nerd, Gladiator in pjs, expert babysitter, screen addict

Island Girl On A Mission

Spreading Love and Light One Blog Post at A Time!

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