Who is a narcissist?

A person with a mental disorder  in which he/she  has an inflated sense of  their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

In a much simpler way, the narcissists are obsessed with themselves,think they are better and more important than anyone else and want to be treated special. Both women and men can have this personality disorder ,  but it is more common in men.

Narcissistic relationships are more common than many people are aware. There are phases,patterns and signs to these emotionally abusive(and sometimes physically abusive) relationships.images

so how do they start?

  • The narcissist is a very manipulative person, it doesn’t matter how smart and confident you are, we all can fall for him. He is very skilled to reveal any red flags when you meet him. He will make you believe you are his soul mate by giving you attention and charm you with compliments any chance he gets. This person will study you well and use your weak points  to his advantage. Spending exorbitant amounts of time with you and giving enchanting promises will make you feel alive ,adored,loved, and


  • The amount of time he spends with you will reduce. It will start with a few days without communication, then the next time it will be weeks. After disappearing for a good amount of time, he will return like nothing ever happened. If you ask about the act, he will behave as if you are crazy and over thinking things. You will try to get back to the kind of connection you two had when you met, but the harder you try more distance he becomes.The partner who once made you feel like royalty is now making you feel insecure and needy. He is now a stranger. He is taking your power to feed his elated ego


  • Because of  how intense and quickly the relationship started and how within a nick of time the tables turn,you will feel very confused,angry and betrayed. You will constantly be asking yourself where you went wrong. It’s a very emotional phase because he is no longer the person you knew: very loving,attentive and consistent. This person projects all the relationship issues to you, making you believe that all that happened is your fault. You will be punished with  silence when you simply attempt to resolve the problems. Being ignored will feel so horrible that you will start apologizing for things you never did. This is one of the many games these people have mastered so as to manipulate you. He preys on this kind of attention, and is incapable of recognizing any personal fault. He will never show remorse or awareness for the imposed hurt.


  • You will assume the downfall was your fault. You will obsess with fixing whats broken in order to feel better. The more your efforts are ignored the more you will become persistent. It’s a back and forth and never-ending cycle of apologizing  and nothing changing with the relationship that you start feeling crazy. Its energy depleting and soul consuming because you will give all you can, but for nothing


  • The relationship has run its course. You can no longer fill the emptiness he feels so now he ends the relationship abruptly. It’s what they do,they use and discard with no show for remorse. He has now completed the full cycle of narcissism and has probably started another one with someone else.


disclaimer:use of he is for consistency purposes




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Gatundu Girl

Straight out of the village, writer, book nerd, Gladiator in pjs, expert babysitter, screen addict

Island Girl On A Mission

Spreading Love and Light One Blog Post at A Time!

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