1.Girls have drama
Everyone has heard about this silly stereotype: Girls are dramatic. It’s as old as friendship itself. Growing up I used to hear my fellow girl friends say that they would rather have boys as friends, as they are less gossipy and have less drama as well. With time, I began to believe this lie, at least until I was friends with a few boys here and there. The same gossips and conflicts that go on between female friendships are experienced in the boys’ circles as well. The common stereotype is that boys are more laid back than girls. We should stop associating this negative characteristic “dramatic” with girls. It’s a character common to both genders.
2.Men are primarily sexual beings and women are not
Men are more sexual than women. It’s just biological. Never mind that some men have very low sex drives, and never mind that some women and very high sex drives. This gender myth has very little basis in reality –but it is a cultural value. Particularly in the church, it is common to emphasize modesty and chastity in women –often for the sake of the oh-so- uncontrollable male sex drive. Church tends to teach young women on shielding their bodies from their spiritual brothers’ wondering, lustful eyes. I’m calling this one. While men and women do have biological and chemical differences, a given man is not necessarily more sexual than a given woman. And it doesn’t help women when the society pretends that men are the only sexual beings. When purity/modesty culture is the name of the game, women take on responsibility for the sins of those around them-imagining that they are culpable for others’ wayward hearts. And on the flip side, men grow to view themselves as untrustworthy, uncontrollable, and primarily sexual. Let’s do men and women a favor and start talking about female sexuality in the modern society.
3.Payment of bride price
I know many will say “but it’s only a token of appreciation”.. If was, then it would be a two way thing ;bride and groom price. I listed this here because of a number of negative implications that come with it, experienced by both genders. First, some communities use this as a method of extorting the groom. Second, obviously the need to pay for the bride price, turns women into goods. We only pay for goods or services. In a society where women are striving to eliminate objectification, this practice right here is an obstacle to our progress. This practice is also one of the reasons why there is still so much violence against women in marriages, especially in Africa. A study conducted by the Un recently in 37 African countries revealed that around 50-60% of African men consider beating their wives a necessary aspect of marriage, while a similar percentage of women think themselves deserving of a beating. With practices like bride price,it is the woman received in exchange who pays the ultimate price for this innocent-seeming gifts.
4.Giving up your last name after getting married.
I still fail to understand this tradition right here, or why it still happens. Your name is your identity. The expectation that women should change their last name for marriage, swapping their own identity for their husband’s, is unarguably sexist. And I say unarguably because no one could claim there is an expectation of the same name change in men. I know it’s part of our tradition for the woman to change her name when she gets married, but like I always say, just because its tradition, it doesn’t men its good or right.
So what do you guys think. Should we keep or give up the above practices? Let me know in the comments section